———————————————————————————————————————–EVERYONE LOVES KUNG-FU FIGHTING BUT WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING BASEBALL HERE!
The Kid laid there behind the backstop for a good solid five minutes with his eyes rolled back as his belly performed what only can be best described as a sort of involuntary muscular hydraulics.
Oblivious to what had been happening on the practice field when he had arrived, The Kid gathered up enough strength to raise his head off of his heaving chest just enough to catch glimpse of what looked like a bad Bruce Lee movie being unwillingly directed by Coach Deanda.
Larry the ADD kid was swinging around his sweaty Zip tennis shoes he had tied together like a pair of numchucks as four other Shaolin Senators high-kicked through the air and cried out a multitude of “Hii-Yaaaw’s.”
Coach Deanda was in the center of the debacle trying to get Larry the ADD kid to put his shoes back on and corral the other kung-fu warriors back into their positions on the practice field.
It usually took a couple of years for a good movie to be shown at the town’s Serra Twin Theatres and it was even a more rare occasion for two good action movies to be played back to back.
“Kung-Fu Mania” had hit the town with force and for a mere dollar fifty, you could watch Bruce Lee in “Enter The Dragon” and then hit the lobby for a second tub of popcorn and a pop and be back in time for Chuck Norris in “The Good Guys Wear Black.”
What The Kid had witnessed from beneath the wreckage of his treasured bike was a combination of both movies being acted out on the field simultaneously.
Larry the ADD kid was re-enacting a scene from “Enter The Dragon” while the others were high-kicking through an imaginary car windshield from a scene in “The Good Guys Wear Black.”
Coach Deanda on the other hand was making his own independent film that was a lot like the movie “Blazing Saddles,” complete with cowboy boots and curse words, only everything was dubbed in Spanish.
“MADRE DE DIOS!!!” cried Coach Deanda as he hit the turf from a massive “slip and slide” maneuver that was a result of pairing Mexico’s finest cowboy boots and America’s over-watered school practice field.